Winning

Someone asked me what it was like to be the winner of the NPAC award. I was exhilarated and humbled simultaneously. What does it mean to be a winner? I haven't won too many awards, but I can remember when I won the James A. Rodgers Creative Writing Award. I did not want to go to the awards ceremony because I had plans to go to the World 600 NASCAR race in Charlotte, NC. That was more my speed. Nevertheless, my mother took me by the ear and insisted that I go. I received my trophy and the accolades and put them on the back of a shelf and in the back of my mind. I never thought about what an honor it was until a few years ago when my aunt was being sent to live in a nursing home. As her children were packing up her belongings, they discovered a newspaper article lovingly and pristinely, albeit yellowed with age, preserved in her memory box. They sent it to me. How precious it is to me now. I was surprised that someone had cared enough to save it. How wonderful it was to know that someone appreciated my talent enough to even nominate me for that award in the first place and to actually win it. It gave me the oomph that I needed to start writing again. Since then I have published two books. I would have never wagered that I would ever have the courage to do that if it were not for the fact that someone cared enough to save an old newspaper clipping.
As I wrote in my book TatWitt What I Learned When I Learned to Tat, "All people, old and young, like to be substantiated and supported from time to time for their diligence and industry. Self-satisfaction is prime, but what could be wrong with a big old pat on the back…?"
I am humble yet proud, an antithesis, I know, but being honored is that "pat on the back" that everyone can use. Awards for me are few and far in between, and I accept them, I hope with graciousness.