July the Fourth at Granny Witt's

Fourth of July at Granny Witt's

First, and most important, spray your feet and ankles with Deep Woods OFF! Nothing can ruin your fun worse than picking off ticks. If you'd really like to be comfortable, spray your arms, and if you're wearing shorts, your legs, too. Rub it in good. There's no fun in itchy mosquito bites. If you're like me, you'll spray your hands and rub the stinky stuff on your ears, cheeks, and neck. The voracious buggers hunt for an unprotected spot. For good measure, I spray the the top of my head, too, to keep the circling horseflies away. Be sure to wash your hands.

Second, grab a flyswatter and play Bug Baseball. Get a common fly, it's a base hit. Get a wasp, it's a triple, and that pesky horsefly is a home run. Designate a scorekeeper. Cheat. After a few libations, no one will know the score anyway. When you win, go wash your hands.

Next, if you go out to the chicken pens to treat the birds, pet them, or if you want to be helpful, gather the eggs, please scrub IT off your feet on the zoysia. The grass appreciates the fertilizer. Then go wash your hands.

Remind Papa John to turn the burgers, and please don't mention it when a hot dog falls into the coals and he retrieves it. It'll taste just as good if not better.
Make sure the cat is well out of the way before you pitch a horseshoe. Be sure to tell Granny Witt if you discover the cat used the horseshoe pit for a litter box and then go wash your hands.

See how many birds you can spot on, under, and around the feeders. You should see chickadees, male and female cardinals, nuthatches, and titmouse, (is it titmouses or titmice??) Look for a goldfinch, a purple finch, blue jay, oriole, or thrush. Find a dove, a wren, a bluebird, or a hummingbird. You can even watch the antics of the woodpeckers handing upside down on the feeders. Now if you see a flock of purple martins feasting in the Carolina sky, you win the game.

Another fun game is to see how many Japanese beetles you can catch. Go get a pail and fill it with a squirt of dishwashing liquid and water. Sneak up on a rose, put the pail of soapy water underneath it. Give the rose a tap and the nasty little gnawing creature with drop straight down into the water. That's the end of them. Count how many you get in the bucket and then go wash your hands.

Of course you can have a hamburger and a hot dog along with chips, baked beans, pickles, onions, and slaw. And as many homegrown tomatoes as you care to eat. Yes, and all the root beer you can drink, too. But, ask Granny Witt if you can put blueberries, chocolate sauce, whipped cream, strawberries and cherries on your ice cream, before you pile it on. Mama may not want you to have all that, but you can top it off with a brownie if you want to. It's the Fourth of July. Oh, and when you're eating the watermelon, no matter how good it is, please don't eat all the way to the rind. Leave a little red on it. It allows for a prettier watermelon pickle preserves that I plan to make when all you folks finally go home.

One last game before the fireworks. Find every flag that we have displayed and salute it. Then thank God and a soldier that you are free to celebrate the Fourth of July. Now, go wash your hands.

© Witt July 2006